By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It's just like the Real World with babies
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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