the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
