There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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