he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just invented taco cereal.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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