Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
