You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We just shotgunned beers for America
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
