got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
