somebody snuck up and got me drunk
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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