I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize