yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
