fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
