I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
