The maid of honor just puked.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
