idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
