is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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