Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize