I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
literally had 100 drinks last night.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Too much gin, very little bucket
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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