Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
