u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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