At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It's never too late to be topless.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
