Soap is not a condiment
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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