I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We have started to decorate penises.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
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