marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
