is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
