we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
