Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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