i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
