you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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