You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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