if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
