I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
