I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
