I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
