I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Randomize
