But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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