If i come over, it means nothing
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
