A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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