you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
