I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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