Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
