I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
