My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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