We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
