True but thats because hes a fetus.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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