My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
