OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
