I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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