I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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