Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
