Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize