I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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