I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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