Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
