1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
