Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
