dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
