I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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