Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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