I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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