I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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