All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
