I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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