so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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